It's Dylan, You Know The Drill.
I have two daughters, so I’m raising two future women. Maybe! I mean, one of them might be a guy later. It’s possible. It could happen. Someday one of my daughters could be like ‘Dad, I’m really a guy’ and I’ll be like ‘Alright well let’s get you a dick, honey. We’ll get you the nicest dick in town.’
Louis CK (reason #94826 why he’s the best comedian)
Hemingway and James Joyce were drinking buddies in Paris. Joyce was thin and bespectacled; Hemingway was tall and strapping. When they went out Joyce would get drunk, pick a fight with a bigger guy in the bar and then hide behind Hemingway and yell, “Deal with him, Hemingway. Deal with him.”

[x] (via newzerokaneda)

Between this and the story about him reassuring F. Scott Fitzgerald re dick size, I’m developing a picture of Hemingway as the mother hen of the disaffected white male literary set of the early 20th century.

He probably called up Steinbeck sometimes and was like I CAN’T EVEN WITH THESE DIPSHITS and Steinbeck was all “That’s what you get for living in Paris, asshole”.

(via copperbadge)

(via havisham)

uncensoredhijabii:

kingjaffejoffer:


Husain Abdullah received an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for praying on Monday. [Yahoo]

This is probably going to be a big deal tomorrow. The NFL can’t do anything right this year. 

it is a big deal, how many times has tebow kneeled down? Has he ever been penalized? No. Bullshit. Then they have the audacity to be calling it excessive celebration, screw the NFL. Let a white Christian male kneel down and protect his ass, create a movement and call it tebowing, but once a Black Muslim Male does it, it’s flagged. IT’S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL IT’S NO LONGER INVOLVING A WHITE CHRISTIAN MALE BUT RATHER A BLACK MUSLIM. LOAD OF B.S.

uncensoredhijabii:

kingjaffejoffer:

Husain Abdullah received an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for praying on Monday. [Yahoo]

This is probably going to be a big deal tomorrow. The NFL can’t do anything right this year.

it is a big deal, how many times has tebow kneeled down? Has he ever been penalized? No. Bullshit. Then they have the audacity to be calling it excessive celebration, screw the NFL. Let a white Christian male kneel down and protect his ass, create a movement and call it tebowing, but once a Black Muslim Male does it, it’s flagged. IT’S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL IT’S NO LONGER INVOLVING A WHITE CHRISTIAN MALE BUT RATHER A BLACK MUSLIM. LOAD OF B.S.

Kanye West - So Appalled
28,663 plays

ayothewuisback:

So Appalled

foreverphantomhive:

riverplants:

foods that will poison cats:

  1. alcohol 
  2. chocolate
  3. caffeine
  4. dairy products (adults turn lactose intolerant)
  5. fat trimmings, raw meat, eggs, fish
  6. grapes and raisins
  7. onions and garlic
  8. tuna (when not made for cats)
  9. xylitol (artificial sweetener)

if you have a cat please reblog this

Even if you don’t have a cat please reblog this for all your followers who may have their own precious little baby.

lakidaa:

i like how his mom is immediately on his side and about to getaway car them off 

Deep cover.

I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, “Kiss me harder,” and “You’re a good person,” and, “You brighten my day.” I live my life as straight-forward as possible.

Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.

Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands.

And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.

We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.

We never know when the bus is coming.

(via bl-ossomed) this hit me so hard, idk how to feel rn (via fuckingwh0reible)

I wish I knew when the bus was coming :(

(via dogthing2)

ahhfeck:

one of my fave scenes from anything

vzxy:

Quite possible the greatest tweet ever written. 

vzxy:

Quite possible the greatest tweet ever written. 

paranolives:

vinegod:

How to Pronounce different objects by Esa Fungtastic

Aww shit this cheered me up. 
FELLELOO LOCHELOOOO